When I was a child, my cousin Laurie moved to Arizona. I remember loving her more than anyone in my world, and I remember being devastated every time she left. I sobbed and hyperventilated uncontrollably, as grief consumed my heart and body. I didn’t understand that I would see her again. It must have broken her heart to see me in such pain.
In moments of goodbyes I still feel like that little girl. I wish to be able to speak words of love and thankfulness, yet all I can do is harness all of my strength to keep myself from falling apart.
A handful of my closest friends came to share the sacred hours that remained before I left. Time ticked away, as time tends to do… My friends stood in a semi-circle facing me, my back was towards the idling taxi cab. We hugged and said our “I love you`s”, each friend offered words of wisdom and encouragement. Sana got into the taxi with me. We would say our goodbyes at the airport.
We had forgotten her final farewell gift for me in the fridge at her apartment, but we were already at the airport. There was no going back, not even for a slice of Letty`s roasted almond cheesecake. She helped me check in my luggage, then we sat at a nearby café until we absolutely had to say goodbye. When we parted ways, I felt her love and care and how it had wrapped around me. I had not realized how much she had taken care of me until then. Sana supported, loved and cared for me through the best and worst times of my life. She never judged me for my limitations and shortcomings. She never advised me when what I needed was a kind listener. She taught me that it is ok to not be ok.
It has been two years since I left the States. The words of wisdom and encouragement from my friends in NY still remain with me. From Moldova to Indonesia to Japan, I have been cared for and looked after by many people. The reality of it has made it very difficult to write this piece, as it feels as though I am reliving my leaving. I MISS YOU!! I am humbled by your care. Each of you have taught me what it truly means to be generous, loving and kind. You know who you are. I offer thankfulness and prayers to all of you. I sincerely hope that I have shown you the same care and love. I pray that we can see each other again.